Beginning of a writing journey

I’ve always struggled with generating a consistent output that can be considered as purely creative. You could say I’m a natural when it comes to technical projects, things that have a clear, quantifiable goal. But, when there isn’t a binary outcome (it works vs. it doesn’t work) to the end of a project, my brain freezes: no clear end means no defined path, no fixed list of steps to perform (or tentative solutions to try). The only way to move forward is to explore, experiment in every direction and constantly revise your position to be able to plan your next step. And I’m not very good at that.

A rationale for choosing to write #

So, I decided that things needed to change. I chose to focus on writing specifically, as I’m currently working my way through the book “Writing to Learn” by William Zinsser. In addition to that, some posts by Anne-Laure Le Cunff really motivated me to start from this practice, and helped me get to the conclusion that, out of all the creative projects that I’d like to embark on in this lifetime (including, but not limited to: make a music album, write and maintain a blog, create a photography project), writing is the most easily approachable. There are multiple reasons for this:

1. I’m already used to write all the time - I’ve been taking notes in my Obsidian for years, and since November 4th, 2022, I started keeping a journal for both my work and my personal life. This helped me overcome the fear of the blank page and to break the infinite revision loop that comes from perfectionism and from your inner critic.

2. I can write anywhere - I don’t need to use dedicated tools, or to be in a specific environment. The bar to start writing is so low that I just need to get past that initial friction of opening your laptop, phone or notebook. Similar to when you want to go out for a run first thing in the morning, so you prepare your outfit and running shoes on a chair the night before. Once you are dressed and outside, it’s very unlikely that you’ll go back to bed!

3. Delayed gratification - To quote Zinsser

I don’t like to write, but I take great pleasure in having written - in having finally made an arrangement that has a certain inevitability, like the solution to a mathematical problem. Perhaps in no other line of work is delayed gratification so delayed.

And this differs from photography or music production in the sense that, after having written, the process feels as satisfying as the outcome, if not more. When I started keeping a journal and taking notes in a more centralised fashion, I noticed I was almost always satisfied with whatever I produced. Then I realised: the source of my gratification wasn’t the product itself, but the act of having created it. Even if it isn’t the best piece ever written, seeing my thoughts organised on the page makes the process worth.

Start off on the right foot #

Following the advice of Anne-Laure Le Cunff, I sat down and took some time to answer these questions and define my writing ikigai.

1. Why do I write? - I can think of three reasons that drive this desire: first, I want to produce a significant output, something that, amidst the noise of modern information, can be deemed as valuable; second, writing helps me to learn and remember things. I have a very bad memory - probably inherited from my father -. Luckily, it seems limited to some specific fields, but I’d still like to improve it, and maybe retain more of what I read; last, writing helps me think clearly and improve my reasoning process.

2. Who am I writing for? - As you can already tell by the reasons I just listed, at this time, I write mainly for myself. I don’t exclude that, at some point, I might consider writing as a way to connect with people, or to express concepts and feelings to my close ones. But for now, this remains a public introspective project, which could lead some to ask:

2a. Then why making it public? - Fair question. I guess to have some sort of accountability. Even if no one reads it, the idea of putting things out there is enough to give me a sense of responsibility that keeps me going. Also, I have a fear of producing and letting out in the world useless noise (I’m looking at you, people that publish books written by LLMs), which helps to maintain a certain level of quality.

3. What do I love learning about? - This is the toughest and most unclear answer of the three. The problem is: I don’t love learning about something, I just love learning. That’s why, after banging my head against the wall to try and find a clear answer, I decided to give up, and leave the scope of my writing as broad as possible. I could share notes on a complicated topic I want to break down, or internalise something I experienced, or build up a structured thought after a deep conversation with a friend. After all, I’ll be the main target audience for this blog.

A pact with myself #

In addition to all that, I’m also using this project as a chance to try out another concept I discovered by reading Ness Labs: in an attempt to make this writing practice a habit, I am making a PACT with myself. A PACT is a method for defining goals based on four factors: Purposeful, Actionable, Continuous and Trackable. It’s opposed to the much more popular SMART (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, Timely), which focuses on the pursuit of a well-defined outcome, and because of that isn’t well suited for long-term, continuous projects.

The PACT I decided to make is to publish at least 2 blogposts every month. That’s it. Now, I just have to stick to the plan and enjoy the ride.